I know this isn’t narrative, but hang with me here. It’s really just stream of consciousness. The biblical view of marriage is simple, really. Two people attempt a melding of sorts. But in context, it’s really much more complex. Often, mere coexistence takes the place of unity because unity requires complete honesty and there are things we’d just rather not discuss.
Intensely personal things.
And chief among these? Sexuality.
Myth No. 3 – Dirty talk is unhealthy for my marriage.
Let’s be honest. We’re all adults here. Humans have God-given desires, lusts, and fantasies. That drive compels continuity, perpetuates the continuation of societies. Sexuality is not an accident.
But lately, I’ve heard the stories behind crumbling marriages. You’ve heard them too:
Story 1 -
When I first stumbled across those images on the internet, it was an accident. I felt I couldn’t tell my wife because it was embarrassing. Months later, I was nursing a full-blown addiction.
Story 2 -
There was this man at work and we started becoming too close. I swear I didn’t mean to, but we shared a kiss. I couldn’t tell my husband. In less than a month, it was an all out affair.
Story 3 -
I never talked about that man who molested me when I was a kid. I thought marriage would straighten out my confused issues with sexuality. It didn’t.
Secrets fester, threaten to undo. And perhaps, just maybe, some of you are living them. Do the hard thing. Talk dirty to your spouse. Tell them the hard stuff, the secret stuff that threatens your unity. Seek counseling if necessary.
And if your spouse seems sexually disconnected, ask if they need to come clean. And be willing to hear the truth and extend grace.