Marriage Myths -- Dirty Talk is Unhealthy for my Marriage.

I know this isn’t narrative, but hang with me here. It’s really just stream of consciousness. The biblical view of marriage is simple, really. Two people attempt a melding of sorts. But in context, it’s really much more complex. Often, mere coexistence takes the place of unity because unity requires complete honesty and there are things we’d just rather not discuss.

Embarrassing things.

Intensely personal things.

And chief among these? Sexuality.

Myth No. 3 – Dirty talk is unhealthy for my marriage.

Let’s be honest. We’re all adults here. Humans have God-given desires, lusts, and fantasies. That drive compels continuity, perpetuates the continuation of societies. Sexuality is not an accident.

But lately, I’ve heard the stories behind crumbling marriages. You’ve heard them too:

Story 1 -

When I first stumbled across those images on the internet, it was an accident. I felt I couldn’t tell my wife because it was embarrassing. Months later, I was nursing a full-blown addiction.

Story 2 -

There was this man at work and we started becoming too close. I swear I didn’t mean to, but we shared a kiss. I couldn’t tell my husband. In less than a month, it was an all out affair.

Story 3 -

I never talked about that man who molested me when I was a kid. I thought marriage would straighten out my confused issues with sexuality. It didn’t.

Secrets fester, threaten to undo. And perhaps, just maybe, some of you are living them. Do the hard thing. Talk dirty to your spouse. Tell them the hard stuff, the secret stuff that threatens your unity. Seek counseling if necessary.

And if your spouse seems sexually disconnected, ask if they need to come clean. And be willing to hear the truth and extend grace.

One or T'other - A Very Short Story

A short story inspired by Mark 4:12 (and surrounding verses)Other very short stories here. Hank was dressed in orange.  He ordered a meal of refried beans, rice, and corn tortillas.  Ironic, since the murder of two Mexicans and a White boy near Attalla had landed him here in the first place.  Hank took the pen and paper and jotted a note to the White boy’s parents. “He was kerajus to the end. Hank.”  He finished his last bite of tortilla just as the chaplain arrived.  The chaplain told him that the kingdom of heaven was like a mustard seed.  Hank burped. Told the Chaplain that he reckoned it more like refried beans.  Or the courage of grade-school white boy near Attalla, one or t’other.  The chaplain said Hank would find out soon enough.

Visit A Deeper Story today, where Nish explores word economy in a less fictional way.  She shares some good thoughts today.

God Willin' And the Creek... There's Always That.

Through the years I have learnedSome things worth the tellin' And you'd be right in guessin' That each and every lesson they were hard won


Can I come home for the summer? I could slow down for a little while Get back to loving each other Leave all those long and lonesome miles behind.

--Ray Lamontagne

There is something about this lyric, how he prized the hard won lessons like pearls.  Maybe there are too many swine in the audience.  Maybe I am one. Maybe he's one.

There are some who understand the personality of art. I'm not sure I'm one of those people. If I were, maybe I'd opine less, treasure the hard won, and come home to quiet love a little more.

Amber, where are you? You help me talk less.