Seth Haines

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The Ways We Cope: Sex and Chocolate and Alcohol (Oh My!)

November 11, 2019 by Seth Haines

This week, I’m building on last week’s Waking theme. If you missed it, go back and read along. Today, I’m sharing an excerpt from my forthcoming book, The Book of Waking Up. It' dovetails nicely with our ongoing discussion.

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Consider the objects of our desires: sex, chocolate, alcohol, shopping, work, food, even narcotics. Ask yourself, Why do you turn to them in times of stress? What do they have in common? As I asked last week, what do they do for you?

You might give any number of answers, but when you boil them down to the bones, you’re left with a pretty simple soup. Sex, alcohol, shopping, work, food, narcotics—they all produce pleasure.

Mmmm, pleasure.

We’re coded for pleasure. We have millions of synapses meant to fire, meant to tell the brain to release four neurotransmitters associated with pleasure: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. What do those neurotransmitters do? That’s not so important for now. Instead, just know this: each plays a part in producing the whizz-bang rush of pleasure we all know. It’s this whizz-bang that sets us apart from machines, that makes us human. But why do we feel this pleasure? What’s the point of it?

Pleasure—what is it but a sign that our creator wants us to enjoy the created things of the world?

Pleasure—what is it but a conduit to experience the goodness of God in the land of the living?

Pleasure—what is it but an icon, a portal meant to draw us into the life and love of God? This is the poor man’s working definition of the ten-dollar word sacramental.

As Alexander Schmemann puts it in his book Eucharist: Sacrament of the Kingdom, God’s creation has a certain sacramentality. He writes, “For the world was created and given to man for conversion of creaturely life into participation in divine life.” God didn’t create pleasure for the fun of it. God created pleasure so our everyday lives would be filled with signs of the divine.

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A Word About These Posts

Over the next year, I’m creating a series of connected pieces, each of which will build on the previous posts. It’s a sober stream of consciousness that began with my Waking series. Where will it go? You’ll have to follow along to find out. So, if you’re not already signed up to receive my daily emails, you know what to do. (And while you’re here, consider picking up my books, Coming Clean and The Book of Waking Up.)


November 11, 2019 /Seth Haines
addiction, coping
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